Monday, July 9, 2007
12:32 PM
It seems that I have finally started blogging again. The last time I made an attempt at blogging seems like eons ago. A lot of things have changed since then; quite a bit has happened in this 2 1/2 years or so and I've come to become a different person; perhaps a bit more mature, a bit more sensible. Who knows? The only thing I can say for sure is that God is going to continue molding me into a better person and the best times are ahead.
Okay, so right now I'm still stuck in camp. OCS Delta Wing. I got half a floor to myself, with the other half of the floor being cordoned off for female accommodations. God's grace has granted me entry into Medicine this year, so for the last week I've been waiting for my disruption notice to come.
Getting into medicine itself was a rather traumatic experience. With getting rejected, feeling crushed and then moving on with life to getting a call from NUS all of a sudden. Apparently they had a slot and I was in. =) Thank God! I know I really don't deserve it but really we're all sinners saved my grace. On hindsight, God was really teaching me to learn to trust Him and depend on Him, a lesson a really, really need to learn. That then leads me to where I'm now.
The late admission notice meant I wasn't disrupting with the rest. Basically my instructors excused me from training so I was left alone. Haha and when I say that, I really mean it. No first parade, no RO, no falling in, nothing. I can walk around the whole compound and no one would really bother me. Good and bad I guess? I was (and still am) rotting in bunk nothing more. Last week it was kind of depressing due to these two reasons:
1. Only 8 people from the second batch are suppose to be disrupting (according to the lady at CMPB)
2. You'll only know you're disrupting if they tell you
So as the days go by, I was losing faith and getting depressed and worried. I was basically killing myself over it and that was really stupid. Here I was, perfectly fine, so blessed, so loved that the Son on the King died for me and I was rotting my life away because of the possibility I can't disrupt? Fortunately, God woke me up and I realized how idiotic I was being. What would I do without Him man.
Truly, if we do not have faith and dwell in the negative, we will just get what we believe - all the failures that we so fear. God is faithful indeed. Just today, just as I started believing Him and trusting Him again, things have started moving. I received the letter from NUS stating my acceptance in 2007 and LTA Faizal just told me I should be disrupting on the 15th. Praise God for this! God's continuing His lesson He started earlier and I will believe I'm learning how to trust Him more and more. =)
Keep praying for me, not just that I'll be able to disrupt, but that in the time I have left in camp, I can do something for God. That I can be a blessing to the people here. I only perhaps have a vague idea of what I can possibly do, but I'll see where the spirit moves me to.
Remember His goodness. Keep trusting!
"For the thing that I fear comes upon me, and what I dread befalls me."
-Job 3:25 (ESV)
